Body Image
February 27th, 2010
As National Eating Disorder Awareness week winds down, I felt that I should address the issue of body image. I can’t really talk of my experience with an eating disorder because I haven’t had one–at least anything worthy of a diagnosis (I believe that most women struggle with some level of disordered eating), but I can talk about my own struggles with body image.
I think that all women, and probably a lot of men, too, struggle with body image. I think it would be odd not to. We live in a society that is obsessed with appearances. Hollywood only seems to love the pretty and the skinny and the handsome and just don’t feel like you’re good enough if you don’t fit their cookie cutter ideal of “human”.
I grew up with boys, and so did my mom, and I went to a small Christian school and there I also hung out with boys. Being skinny and dressing nice and putting on makeup was the furthest thing from my mind. It wasn’t until high school when I had a friend who was obsessed with how she looked. This was my very best friend and I spent most of my time with her so I was constantly hearing things like “I am so fat” or “I hate my love-handles”. I remember shopping for jeans with her once. When she was in the dressing room she cried out, “They are tight!”, and I offered to get her the next size up and she said, “No! I will NOT wear a size X”…as I stood there in size X, feeling less than perfect and less than loved.
Other times she would make comments about the size I wear compared to the size she wore. It seemed like all of her beauty rituals came out of girly, superficial magazines, so I started to read them, and I actually started to care. Who was this monster growing in me? Where was the Abby that was only concerned with fast-pitch softball and mastering the art of “fake-bunt-swing-away”? Where was the Abby who loved to hustle and have a catch with her dad and work on correcting her terrible side-arm.
Goodbye, concession stand food. Goodbye, trips to the local custard stand after softball victories (or HELLO guilt for eating it). I drank diet sodas, ate only salads but never lost a single pound. I tried to buy the right make-up or shop for clothes for my body type. I tried to live up to my friend’s perception of beauty–the perception taken right from the Hollywood “human”. It never happened.
Guess what? To be human is to be flawed. And to be human is to be unique. To be human is to do what you love and be yourself. Can you imagine a world full of people that looked, dressed and acted the same? If we never made a mistake, what would we ever learn?
For some reason unbeknownst to me, we stopped being friends. Although I mourned the loss of a friend, I found that a healthy body image returned slowly. I did lose weight, and I started running and was just all around happy with who I was and so thankful that God spared me from that sick cycle of emotional self-destruction. I can’t blame her for my body image issues, and I’m not, I make my own decisions in life. But surrounding yourself with those negative influences doesn’t help you overcome any obstacles.
Since then there are still times when I get caught up in poor body image, but overall I understand that being healthy is more important than being skinny, and being Abby is more important than being “Hollywood”. I have come to embrace all of my tom-boyish qualities. I love that I hate makeup and that I’d choose sweatpants over jeans any day. I love that my hair never looks right and I have no idea who the popular singers and actors are. I love that I don’t care for anything except what I should care about.
I care about my family. I love them all for who they are the unique characteristics they bring into my life. I care about being healthy because I care about my body as the Temple of God. I care about fueling it for runs and pushing it to work harder to run farther and faster. I care about my heart and my soul. I care about the fact that I am a child of God. I care about Proverbs 31:30 which says, “Charm is fleeting and beauty is deceptive, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
I haven’t overcome all of my body image issues, and I don’t know that I ever will. But I’ve come to realize that God made me and loves me and called me for His own pleasure and good will.
“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, you have been bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
-1 Corinthians 6:19-22
If you’re reading this and struggling with your body image and self esteem, please know that you aren’t alone. Everyone struggles with it. But know that your worth will never be found in your pants-size or a pimple-free face. It’s found in your relationships-with God, with your family, and with the friends who put no other expectations on you except being yourself. If you need someone to talk to, please email me at ajackson415(at)gmail(dot)com. I can’t promise to give you answers, but I can promise to be your friend and love you for who you are.
Categories: Uncategorized
Thank you… I think all women need these kinds of reminders at times.
I know I need the reminders!
What an inspiring post! This is why I like reading what you have to say. You have great wisdom. God dwells within you as you.
Have a lovely day! XO
Thank you!!
I grew up with 3 older brother and I didn’t even know what a salad was until college when I lived in an all girls dorm and all they ate was lettuce. I thought that was how you were “suppose” to eat as girl. Luckily I became a nutrition major and found out the healthy way to eat before getting too sucked into those habits. I started lifting weight and walking to class and FELT GREAT! I love your post. I love that verse and thank you so much for SHARING!
LC
Thanks Lindsay! I love being raised with boys. I feel like it gave me thick skin. Wouldn’t trade my brothers for anything!
ABBY you are soo beautiful!! such an amazing heart. God’s love and wisdom radiates through you, you remind me of some proverbs ive been reading about wisdom! you are truly a role model to me.
i am so thankful for you and your kind, beautiful heart!
love you!
This brought tears to my eyes! It is so humbly, but God has placed such a burden on my heart for people struggling with these issues.
I love your joy and your encouragement!!! Thanks, doll!
Thank You so much for posting on this topic. I have struggled with an eating disorder and I know how hard it is to accept a certain size and seeing people like you accept who you are, makes me realize that I can be a size and still be considered beautiful!!
I hope you have a great weekend and wear jeans and not worry about the size!!
Thanks, Lindsay! I hope that I can help others realize that they are so beautiful just as they are!
I grew up with brothers, too, and always had a healthy body image until I got a little older in school and people started commenting on how I was ‘bigger’ than others my age. I learned to tune it out thanks to a strong family, good self esteem, and faith.
I wish I would have learned to tune it out earlier! But I guess that’s part of growing up!
I want to hug you for this post! I can’t put it all into words, so just know that a gigantic hug is being sent your way.
::hugs::
So, I’ve been MIA from the blogworld for a bit now, and I come to see YOUR HUGE MOVE!! OMG your blog looks AMAZING. wow. Congratulations!
This is such a touching post. It is so true that everyone struggles with their own form of body image problems, and I really think it’s normal, as we live in a society that bombards with messages that are MEANT to make us feel insecure, for their own advancement. Great post, really.
Glad you’re back!!! It is so normal, I wish it wasn’t so. I’m on a mission to change it
Abby, what wonderfully honest and insightful post. Everytime I get down on my body, I remind myself what the wonderful things it has done for me. That it can run and jump and ride my bike.
Thanks, Pen! It’s amazing all that our body does for us but we tend to abuse it. When I realized that, I now try to treat it extra kindly.
Great post. I’ve drifted away from friends for sort of the same reasons. They constantly obsessed about how they looked to the point that it was making me feel bad about themselves. It was like they just couldn’t be happy with who they were anymore and wanted to make sure that no one was happy. I have struggled with a bit of an eating disorder lately, that’s what really started my healthy living pledge, because I could see it easily getting out of control. Even though NEDAW is over, I think that’s a post that I really need to have written on my blog.
Beautiful post! I think it’s awesome that you were able to break away from a destructive relationship like that.
Thanks, Amanda. But don’t think I wanted to break away. One day she hated me..but hindsight is always 20/20. Now I see how destructive it was. I only hope she came to terms with her own body image issues.
Surrounding yourself with the right type of influences isn’t the only step to better body image. . . BUT it is a huge step. I an honestly say that at almost 30 years old after a lot of work and loving, grounded friends, family, and most importantly husband, I am all but finished with body image issues!
I’m embarrassed that I knew the beginning of the Corinthians passage (Your body is a temple) but not the end (that it was bought at a price). And the end part is what’s really profound! Thank you so much for posting it, it is beautiful!
[...] Body Image [...]
girl, thank you so much for pointing out – it’s His love that makes us beautiful and complete!
i love your blog! i can’t believe this is the first time i’ve stumbled on it. i will be looking forward to catching up on my posts
-r
Hey! I just came across your blog..and LOVE this post! Your love for the Lord truly shines in true beauty through you!
Look forward to reading more about you (and your cute family! 
) xoxo Katie