Gym Rules
February 26th, 2010
I don ‘t think it’s any secret that I hate the treadmill. The minute I step on that awful machine I remember my little hamster from grade school running in her wheel. My husband always wonders why I use it if I hate it so much, but it’s a means to end. I want to run a marathon, and because I live in the snowy, hilly city of Pittsburgh, the safest and most convenient option for me is the gym–a necessary evil. Like visiting in-laws straight out of ”Everybody Loves Raymond”. You don’t want to spend the holiday with them, but for the sake of a happy marriage you suck it up and deal with it. Not that I know from experience or anything, I’ve just seen enough episodes of “Everybody Loves Raymond” to be able see the similarities.
Anyhow, I had a 5-6 mile tempo run on schedule and I had planned to take my mind off of the sisyphean feeling of the treadmill by tweeting my running playlist because I have seen many runners blogging and tweeting in need of new music. I was doing this happily for 2.5 miles when Runner Man joined me. Runner Man entered my life when Dave and I moved to this apartment complex back in May. Everytime we saw him he was running–always in some random part of town and at random times of the day. We were pretty convinced that he ran all day all over the West Hills of Pittsburgh.
Well, since I was banished to the gym after my stress fracture, I found that Runner Man also runs at the gym while his buddies do other workouts. I learned something about him and his friends: they don’t wear deodorant. And I’m sure you can imagine, whether or not you want to, how much stink some guy who runs that much makes with no deodorant in a tiny, tiny gym.
I forced myself to run until 3 miles and quickly hopped off. In less than 5 minutes his stench was permeating the room. It was a great decision because as I was wiping down the machine, grandpa came in sporting the tighest spandex I have ever seen. They really didn’t leave much to imagination. And trust me, I tried not to look, but like I said before the gym is tiny and the walls are almost entirely covered by mirrors. I didn’t have many options.
Amazingly I made it out of there safely while holding my breath and closing my eyes. I changed into outside running gear and ran my 2 mile loop garmin-less. It was so cold, and so windy, but it was fresh. I’d choose burning lungs over burt nose hairs any day.
I felt like I kept a serious pace (for me). I wouldn’t be surprised if I was running at a 9:00 min/mile pace. Which is really good, yet really bad. Distance and frequency don’t seem to hurt my foot, but intensity does. I’m currently icing it, and I have bribed Dave with my favorite green monster if he massages it for me later. It’s amazing that I can bribe my husband with spinach. Anyone else?
So, meet the “Abby look”. This is apparently something my parents commonly saw during my childhood, and today I’m bringing it back in honor of Runner Man and Grandpa Spandex.
If you could add to the list of posted gym rules, what would you add? I’d add a mandatory deodorant application FOR SURE!
Categories: Uncategorized
BhAHAHA, your poor nose! I never understand how people can’t smell themselves. Yuck! Is that your new running jacket from Target? I love love love it! It matches your new website!
It is. I really have some kind of obsession with teal. It’s a problem! My husband is starting to get concerned!
I got stuck on the treadmill next to a lady with HORRIBLE STRONG SMELLING perfume. It was so strong that I got a headache and the nauseous. I had to get off or I would BARF! YUCK!
I hate that. Don’t these people smell themselves?
Oh gosh, I hate smelly men! No, seriously, I have to deal with it on a daily basis. Imagine jail inmates after weeks in jail during the hot Georgia summer. Sometimes I’m proud of myself for not throwing up.
Oh my gosh, that is so gross. You are a greater woman than I am for being able to deal with that!
I would add not talking on your cell phone. Seriously. I’m sorry, but it’s not a workout if you’re ON THE PHONE. And it’s just rude.
I know, I don’t really want to be apart of your conversation about what so and so said about you behind your back. Keep it secret
Deodorant is a good rule… and no spandex on men. And no talking on the cell phone for the whole workout, I hate when people are yakking away next to me.
Love your jacket!
Thanks
It was a Target purchase. Love that store!
LORD KNOWS IM WITH YOU ON THE TREADMILL NOTLOVIN
but Im there
tomorrow
5a
ten miles
pray for me
MIZFIT! I will certainly be praying. I’ve never made it more than 6…and even then I don’t know how I did it. Best of luck. I know you can do it!!!!!
I’ve met those people before, yuck. But not in a gym, this is in a classroom, where they just got out of the gym and you can’t escape!
I wish my gym had a cast of characters like that. It’s in my apartment complex, so besides the occasionally bimbo that does the elliptical for 5 minutes and spends the rest of the time stationary and talking with her friends, and the college jock lifting weights, it’s mostly empty.
Haha mine is a tiny apartment gym too!! There are only two treadmills and a few other things. It’s so tiny so it gets really hot and stinky REALLY QUICKLY! BUt I have yet to meet a Bimbo there. However, if I do, it will be blogged!
I was on the treadmill yesterday and had 1) someone super smelly in the area 2) someone singing out loud along with their ipod while they were on the treadmill. WTF? Like I am glad you are pumped up and having a great time with your run and want to sing, but please consider there are a bunch of other people in here that do not want to hear you. Stop singing.
Another pet peeve is people that leave a group class before the cool down (and do it disruptively). I think putting away (and banging around) weights and steppers and mats is disrespectful to the instructor and annoying to the other participants trying to complete this last important part of a workout.
Who can sing while they run?! If they can sing then they aren’t running fast enough!
How cute is that jacket?!
I strongly second the “must use deodorant” rule. I’ve never understood why people wear jeans or other inappropriate clothes, but my number 1 rule would have to be “no hammer pants!” I mean, you’re one flock of seagulls haircut away from ruin.
ughhhh nasty running man!! I can’t handle the treadmill either! I always bring vocab words to read while I run to distract me from the fact that I’m stuck on the revolving apparatus! I also hate it when someone is hacking up a lung next to me!! I wanna yell at them to go home and get in bed! sick people at the gym is my biggest pet peeve! good job for sticking it out as long as you could! I hope you have a great friday girlie!! xoxo!
Did you comment on my Gym Pet Peeves post from Wednesday yet? If not you should! I have been laughing out loud reading the responses!
HEY sweet girl!! you are always so loving and so encouraging-im so thankful for you abby!!
UGGH goss about the gym! i hate when ppl work out WET on the machines from the pool! g-ross!
love you!
Thanks, Katie, You’re so sweet! I’m so humbled
And ew, I’ve never experienced the wet gym go-ers. That’s really disgusting!
Hey, Abby!
I just discovered your blog, and let me tell you – I simply LOVED your honesty!
Hahahahaha
Have a great weekend, girl!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela
Awww thanks!! Glad you stopped by! Keep in touch!