Setbacks vs. Successes
May 5th, 2010
I’m loving your summer plans, too! Makes me wish I had a dozen summers to spend because you all have wonderful things planned…
My goals for summer are kind of vague and nothing too exciting. It is hard for me to make goals anyway because I am not a goal oriented person at all. You know how some people are goal and task oriented and others are people oriented (you can be both, but most people tend to be more of one than the other)? I’m people-oriented. My husband is goal-oriented. We make a nice couple. I always say that nothing would ever get done if left to me. 
Anyhow, I know it seems that I’m handling the whole marathon fiasco well. And I don’t want to say that I’m not, but truthfully it is haunting me! I get sick when I remember that I didn’t finish the whole thing. I mean really, let’s look at my life over the past months:
1) Broke my foot in October during a race
2) Didn’t get in to my Grad school of choice
3) Ran a half marathon instead of the full that I had trained (and paid) for
Depressing, right?
Yea… But my good blend Lindsay reminded me that, "In his heart a man plans his course, but it is the Lord that determines His steps" (Proverbs 16:9).
So true! I find comfort in the act that I am right where God wants me to be. I don’t see the reasons, but I know that His plan is greater than mine could ever be. And really, how can I focus on seemingly large "failures" when I have been blessed with so much?
1) Had a chance to meet and become friends with wonderful people with similar passions
Taken from Caitlin
2) Pushed my body past limits I never thought I could reach
3) Started a new hobby that I can enjoy with my husband
4) Met my adorable nephew for the very first time
5) Received countless emails, messages, and comments that have shown me I have touched many lives just by being honest on this blog and sharing both my successes and my setbacks.
The other week I wrote on overcoming our circumstances and not being defined by them. I plan to practice what I preach. I had a choice: to run the whole marathon and possibly be seriously injured, or run the half and then run again! I made the choice, and I am proud that it was the wise one. I’m going to use these circumstances to make me stronger and listen to what God is trying to teach me.
What lessons are you learning? What is an important lesson you have learned the hard way?
I’ve learned so many lessons the hard way, but one very key one was not listening to my body back in October when I got all of those stress fractures!
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I am learning that I need to go for something. Yes, I learn things along the way but this mode makes me feel like a drifter, not a woman of action. Now don’t get me wrong, I do take action in many things. It’s just those ones that I don’t do that nag at me. Example: Workout more. I read blogs like Abby’s where people workout but am i really going for it. Action is what counts, not just a good intention. You ladies know what I mean!?
I completely agree. Words only mean so much! But actions are what last and make the difference! And that’s true in thngs other than exercising!
I hear ya, Radha!
You made the right choice! I ran mine with a hurt hip, crossing my fingers it wouldn’t act up. It did, at miles 13! I finished anyway, and am proud of it. But could have easily ran the half and given my hip a better chance to heal and then ran another marathon in a time I could have been proud of. You rock. Don’t let it get to you!
You are so hardcore!!!! It’s awesome that you did it!
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OK.. first of all, I LOVE that picture of you with your bike. You look awesome!!
And yes, I have definitely had to make the exact same running choice as you. Not once, but TWICE I have been majorly injured just weeks before a marathon. I got hit by a car 12 days before Boston in 2009, and I refractured my femoral neck (or I found OUT about it) two weeks before Twin Cities 2009. Neither of them fun experiences, for sure.
In Boston, I was stubborn enough to try and run it. And I made it 10 painful miles before common sense finally kicked in and I asked myself “what the #!&@ are you doing??” and I got my butt off the course and on the medical bus.
Only five months later, come time for Twin Cities, I learned I refractured. But somehow I still found myself at the expo, and still contemplating running the day before the race. But I WAS (and still am!!) smarter than that, and I knew that there would be other races.
And obviously there have been! I’ve been lucky enough to have some big successes this year so far, and we’re just getting started! I’m looking forward to more racing, but I am also so happy to finally be at the point where I can make “big picture” decisions. Haha, it sounds so simple, but it IS an important skill in life!! And holy wow I’m leaving you a novel here, but long story short, I’m here for you if you ever want to vent/chat/skype/whatever!! Love you mucho Mrs. Abby!!
Ican’t believe you were hit by a car…and I can’t believe that you still tried runing that marathon afterwards. You are so hardcore!! We need to chat or something sometime! You are always an encouragement to me!
What lesson haven’t I learned the hard way?
I swear I take every detour, trail, pit stop, whatever on my way to a goal. Oh well, it makes it more fun, right?!
Sometimes, not so much…
Well, right now I’m kind of slacking on the working out (bad me) and I’ve been putting most of my energy into job searching, which is a crazy beast unto itself. I’m learning a) patience and b) persistence. I’m also learning that if I don’t get out there and give everything 110% effort, nothing is ever going to happen. So, that’s what I’ve been doing. After two months of nothingness, I finally got a fantastic interview opportunity.
I’m (re)learning that what you put into things is what you will get out of them… so hard work and persistence… Um, I guess I should apply that to my workouts now…
I think it’s hard to put 100% into everything!! I think that all we ar asked of is to do the best with what we can.
Great job with your interview!!!!!!! Good luck!
I love this post. Its so inspiring and true! Lets live day by day and embrace the moment. Thanks Abby!
Thanks, Lindsay, for being such a wonderful friend!
I have learned a few things: Not to settle and to ‘push’ myself in both my running and personal life. This means not taking the easy way out, doing what I can to be healthy (diet, stretching, meditation etc) and asking for help or support if I need it.
I also learned that I am capable of much more than I give myself credit for. This was a big thing to be able to learn for me..
Asking for help when needed is a tough one!!! It’s never easy to battle the pride within us. But we really, truly always need help and support. We are NOT islands!
Thank you so much for the sweet comment!
Abby I love how you put everything in to perspective in this post. I think sometimes it’s so easy for us to focus on the negative and forget about all the positive we have going for us.
Thanks Jess. I really had to put it in perspective because the negative makes me want to puke!!!!
I am a firm believer in that “everything happens for a reason.” Besides, life is what happens when you’re too busy making plans!
I agree completely!!
did you know that Proverbs 16:9 was my coming to love Jesus verse? It’s true. That verse speaks so much to my birth with Christ, and my infancy in Him. (and my friend Andrew, whose blog I’ve pointed you to before, also has a special connection to this verse!)
I’m right in the middle of this Andy Stanley Sermon Series on DVD called “He STILL has the whole world in His hands.” it’s delightful. In it, we are reminded of something that I feel I should share because I know it will meet you where you are.
Remember that time that the Isrealites were slaves? And they were going to leave Egypt (thanks, Moses.) And it took all those plagues? Remember when the “angel of death” came and killed the first born sons of all the houses that weren’t marked with the blood of the lamb? Remember how that’s what finally did it to have Pharoh say – okay. Go. You may leave. Remember? GOD WAS WORKING IN THAT. In the slavery. In the plagues. In the FIRST BORN SONS THAT DIED. God was working.
Remember that time that David was King. And his own son RAISED AN ARMY to go up against him. HIS OWN SON raised an ARMY against him. Do you remember that? God was working in that. In that division. and in the building of that army. and in the destruction. God was in that.
Remember that time that Noah heard from God. And buildt an ark. and his family boarded. along with lots of animals. Remember then that the floods came. And Noah’s neighbors. And cousins. and people he KNEW were no longer. God was working in that.
Remember when Peter denied Jesus? Remember when Judas betrayed him. Remember when Jesus died on the cross. God was working in that.
i could go on and on and on. I could talk about Paul for an entire day. The stoning. The arrests. The shipwreckness. The beating. The long, long wait for the trail which led to the writing of all these letters – which we then hear in his letter to the Church in Rome – in the first part of Romans 8:28, he says it:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him
God WORKS.
IN ALL THINGS.
GOD WORKS. in ALL things.
in your foot injury.
in your not getting into grad school.
in bad days. and worse days. in sadness. in depression.
in not finishing the marathon you signed up for and paid for.
GOD WORKS. in THOSE things.
which is clear – because you are wise, and being reminded to rely on his word. and his promises. and his truth. You are making wise decisions to move forward.
you may be saying, “Heather. you just don’t understand.”
but i do.
we ALL have THINGS that God works in. WE ALL DO. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL THINGS, Abby.
we learn when things are good. I am sure of it. When life seems to be going perfectly, there are lessons there, I know it.
but i am SO MUCH MORE ASSURED that I have laerned through – during, and after – the “bad runs” so much more than the “good runs.”
last night, I had a bad run. So bad, that I actually Gchatted caitlin from my bb and said “I want to quit. i hate running. i want to never run again.” (perhaps this is what one would call a temper tantrum.) But she talked me into finishing strong, and i did. and i reflected. and started a post on “running depression”. and then i made dinner and sat down to watch this sermon i mentioned earlier. as i was watching Andy Stanley talk about all this goodness, I tweeted this:
“You don’t learn anything from a good run. Your bad runs are filled with opportunity for understanding, knowledge, and experience.”
it’s not just runs though. it’s days. and conversations. and seasons. and experiences. and meals. and HOURS. and blog posts. and blog drama. and holiday celebrations. and vacations. and classes. and finals. and trips to the grocery store. ALL THINGS.
ok. im going to stop my rambling now. i just had to share. because its good. true and good.
I really don’t have much of a response because there is so much to reflect on…
I am so thankful that God reminds me all the time that it’s not me or my abilty but Him and His power. His ultimate goal is to bring Glory to Himself, NOT me. So the weaker and more humbled we are, the easier it is to see God’s power. So, yes, I agree…and bad runs, well I’ll take them. I thnk I blogged about bad runs once, actually, and about how they are good for us.
That verse in Corinthians always reminds me of Frodo and the Hobbits.
That is one of my favorite verses!! Sometimes it is SO hard to understand why God lets certain things happen in our lives. In fact, that’s when I tend to fall away from Him the most – I get so caught up in my own self-sufficiency. But that’s when He stops me and reminds me that HE is in control, which is such a blessing in itself! I don’t know about you, but my life would be in complete shambles if I did things my way (and, that IS how it ends up when I do things my way).
You really do have so many amazing blessings in your life! And I agree…meeting so many other lovely bloggers is one of mine as well
I totally agree. I can’t remember t feed my own dog..how can I be in control of anything? Thankfull God is in control of all!! Even stinky marathons!
Sometimes it seems like the “failures” are covered in flashing lights, they’re so easy to see… especially when compared to the blessings which are sometimes more subdued. I love that you outlined some of the blessings, and I’m sure there were many more in your life!
Listening to my body is a tough lesson to learn too… it seems like it should come so naturally, but it’s definitely hard sometimes!
Heyy! It was really nice to meet you! I really like this post and how you put everything into perspective. I tend to focus on everything negative. Currently I am trying to lose weight like crazy for my wedding, and I think I am being more negative about it then I should be. I guess I have to start thinking positive!
xo
Your successes definitely out weigh the setbacks. Glad you are able to stay so positive!
Well thanks to your post and e-mail, I just learned some new ways to deal with my literal pain in the butt.
I’m also trying to learn about myself and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Quitting my job w/out a new job in mind could be considered a setback but I’m really trying to use it as a positive experience and push myself on a career path that makes me happy.