September 2nd, 2010
At the end of July there was a terrible bear attack at Yellowstone park. I just found out about it today…which isn’t good because Dave and I are going camping with Dan and Ashley this weekend!
Now, I’m not usually one to worry about freak things like that happening (unless I’m stuck in traffic in a tunnel, underpass or bridge), but freak things do occur, so I’ve asked myself:
What would I do if I encountered a bear?
I am supposed to be running a long run with Ashley while I’m there, so we would be very, very vulnerable should a crabby momma bear stumble into our path.
So I’m sharing with you, dear friends, how to survive an encounter with a bear. Because I really do care about your safety. (Please note that I do not share from experience.)
1) Make yourself look bigger. The copious amounts of S’mores consumed throughout the camping trip should make this relatively easy.
2) “Play Dead”. If encountered during my long run, this should be no problem at all.
3) Make a lot of noise. I heard that carrying bells is a good idea. Now, I don’t have bells, but I do have a Smartphone, which does in fact have a Bell Ringer App. Now, instead of wondering how I will pack my bells on my run, I just have to decide which bell a bear will be more afraid of:
I hope the answer is obvious.
Bears can climb trees. I can’t. Phew.
Bears can run as fast as horses. I can’t. But, according to Chris McDougall in Born to Run, humans can out run horses. So, I think I’m going to pack some extra Gatorade for my run to put this theory to the test if need be.
Bears habituated to human food are very dangerous. The aforementioned theory could easily be disproved if the bear has developed a taste for sports drinks.
Bears can smell the menstruation. Is that good or bad?
The good news is that I have defeated many-a-bear on my runs.
These bad guys have no chance against me.
But, in all seriousness people, bears aren’t all bad.
There are bears that I like:
- The Berenstein Bears
- Paddington Bear
- Winnie the Pooh
- The Bad News Bears
- Bear Grylls
And of course, my favorite…
What’s your craziest encounter with a wild animal?
I was bit by a garter snake once! I was about 10 years old and at camp and the camp director’s son was playing with it and he let me hold it. I went to pick it up and I was moving too slow and it swung around and bit me! I cried out of shock because it certainly didn’t hurt. But my older brother telling me that I was turning green did not help the situation.