April 19th, 2011
As the day of the marathon quickly approaches (less than 4 weeks), I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what is important to me for this race. After taking an easy two weeks in light of my shin splints, this has become a great focus. Why am I running a marathon and what do I want to get out of it?
One thing I have to say is that I know myself extremely well. I’m a very introspective person and I know how I function and what makes me tick. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. And guess what else… I’m ok with it.
Most of the bloggers in my Google reader are Type A personalities. I’m not. I find that I start to compare my training mentality to theirs and I have to stop myself: I am not wired that way. Comparison is too easy in the blog-o-sphere. Gotta watch myself amongst all of you runners. I am not that dedicated to ANYTHING and if I ever become “dedicated” it’s no longer dedication…it’s obsession. For example, last time I became “dedicated,” I ended up with stress fractures because I lost sight of what was really important (like my health).
Like I said, I’m just not wired like that. Balance is tough for me. For those of you who can remain dedicated and not obsessive, congrats. I’m glad there are people like you to get things done and be amazing inspiration.
So going into this marathon, there are two things I’m most concerned about:
I want to finish the race. I’m not looking to smash records and kick anyone’s butt but my own. I want to finish and I want to know that I overcame a challenge.
A FUN challenge.
There are so many challenges that I could undertake. I could ride a century. I could climb mount Everest. I could swim the English channel. But I didn’t choose any of those things. I chose to run a marathon. Why? Because I love to run. I am not running because I’m overly competitive. I’m not running it to make a name for myself. I’m running it for the fun of it. Will it be tough? Certainly. But in the end, will I be proud of myself? Definitely.
You may say that my goals are not high enough. Perhaps you’re right. I hate to be disappointed, but at the same time, I hate to stress myself out. Life causes so many necessary stress (bills, work, relationships, money, health…), why would I take something that has only brought me joy and turn it into an additional burden?
I can’t function like that. I don’t want to function like that.
So you don’t see any training schedules on this blog for this run…that’s because there aren’t any. Gasp! I’m ok with it. I’ve been living life while training. You should try it. It’s fun. I took two weeks off of long runs. The horror! Oh well, my shin feels better. Trust me, those doubts are already in my head, I just can’t take them too seriously. I have seen what happens when I do, and it ain’t pretty.
When I line up at that start in less than I month, I won’t be thinking about world records or how my training was perfect. I will be thinking that I’m thankful for the body and the health that God gave me to enjoy the sport of running. I’m going to be thinking about how I’ll feel afterwards whenever I know it’s over and I did it and I’m glad that running didn’t take over my life. Because running isn’t my life. It should never be my life. Life is too short.
So if you’re looking for a running blog that will inspire you to be fiercely competitive, push all the limits and scream, “NO PAIN, NO GAIN” in your ear until you scream it in your sleep, you’re at the wrong blog.
But if you want to read about someone’s love for running, thankfulness of healthy legs and nature to enjoy…and someone who can’t possibly take herself too seriously, then I’m glad you’ve found me.