Love Languages
April 6th, 2011
Today I was at a conference and the speaker talked about the Five Love Languages. She stressed how important it is to know what love language you speak, but also to know what kind of love languages those around you speak.
They are:
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- gifts
- acts of service
- personal touch
I had taken the test awhile ago and have given it to Dave, and I can’t say enough that it is really important. A lot of the disagreements and misunderstandings that Dave and I have come from our inability (or even unwillingness) to speak each other’s language.
Even though we recognize that we show love in different ways, it’s easy to forget and end up feeling unloved or misunderstood.
For example, I’m a “words of affirmation” girl. When I love someone, I tell them.
“Love ya!”
“You look great!”
“Amazing job! I’m so proud of you!”
So, because that is how I show love, it’s how I like to be shown love.
David, however, is an “acts of service” man. When he wants to show love, he washes my car.
So, I’m sure you can imagine the moments of frustration when I’m standing there saying, “You are a wonderful husband and I love you so much!” And he’s thinking, “why can’t she just clean up the kitchen instead of babbling on about how much she loves me?”
So, I’m posing a challenge to all of you.
Find your love language. (It’s a quick quiz!!)
Pay attention to your loved ones to see how they show love, and then speak their language in return.
What’s your love language?
I scored highest in “words of affirmation,” but I also scored high in “quality time.”
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I preached on this Sunday. So easy to confuse love when we speak it in many different ways.
I’m a words of affirmation girl too. I need to hear that I’m loved, dinner was good, I did my best, etc.
Hunni is a personal touch guy. He wants to hold my hand as we grocery shop, go to the movies or sit on the couch.
Our perfect date would be walking through the grocery store hand in hand as he complements what I’ve planned for dinner and my money management skills.
I remember taking this quiz awhile back and I’m pretty my top two that were pretty even with each other were acts of service and quality time (which kind of includes the physical touch since we are big hand holders)… anywho, when I had John take it awhile back his top was a clear words of affirmation followed by quality time. I too think it’s so important to know each others language!
James and I read that book too! It was really great for us before we got married. His was quality time and mine was words of affirmation. I love how we can learn from this in all relationships.
Oh my gosh!! This is hilarious and fabulous. I’m so curious about this…definitely going to take it right now and have chris take it too! So fun
My two highest were at tie…words of affirmation + acts of service. So I guess Chris should tell me I look good while he’s washing my car?
Thanks for blogging about this Abby! I may have to steal it for mine today. Like for most guys, physical touch was highest, with words of affirmation and quality time close behind. It’s been a while since I’ve dated much, so it’s hard to remember what’s important to me!
I’ve read the book and taken the quiz awhile ago but I took it again today just for fun…and was surprised to see I’d changed! My top 2 (tied) were words of affirmation and acts of service…which doesn’t really surprise me!
I took the quiz. I don’t think I even need to tell you what my highest was. But my second highest was physical touch. My sister-in-law loves the book, although I have to admit that I haven’t read it.
I’m “quality time” closely followed by “physical touch.” I’m not surprised at all since I think the person I date should be someone who is also one of my best friends…the person who I want to be around when things are exciting and when things are going poorly. Also, holding hands is something I adore…so simple, yet some people don’t like it.
It’s definitely important for people in a relationship to understand what the other needs in terms of this…I can see how conflict can arise otherwise.
Love languages are HUGE! I first took the test about 5 years ago, and it definitely cleared up a lot for me. I’m a quality time and physical touch girl!